Few elements of pop culture have been as historically controversial as the cinematic depictions of nude bodies and simulated (or real) sex acts, due both to the deep-seated Puritanical nature of much of American culture and the gendered power imbalance behind the camera and on the screen. Further discussion of the former—conservatives’ pearl-clutching reactions to sex and nudity—isn’t warranted, while documentaries like Kirby Dick’s This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006) and Nina Menzes’ Brainwashed: Sex, Camera, Power (2022) do a good job of exploring the latter. While much has been made of what we see on screen, less attention has been paid to how (historically unethically and irresponsibly) it gets there.
Premiering at SXSW25, Kate Blackmore’s Make It Look Real finally (and thankfully) turns our attention to the creation of intimate scenes on film by introducing us to the relatively new role of intimacy coordinators. Think of an intimacy coordinator as an assistant coach who helps the director plan and shoot those scenes in ways that respect actors’ boundaries, which they have also helped negotiate with the director and producers. While the film provides ample evidence for why such a role is needed—voiceovers from A-list actresses recount nightmarish experiences on set (getting drunk to get through a sex scene or feeling physically nauseous with the way in which it was improperly handled)—it thankfully doesn’t obsess over this. Rather, Blackmore follows intimacy coordinator Claire Warden as she works with Australian director Kieran Darcy-Smith and three actors to negotiate physical boundaries and plan and shoot three intimate scenes for an upcoming drama. Blackmore and her team reached an agreement with the filmmakers and the actors to build their documentary around the filming of these scenes…even before the rest of the film was financed or shot. The result is a tender, thoughtful, and surprisingly emotional experience that should change the way we think about intimacy on screen and that should be required viewing for all filmmakers and actors.
Make It Look Real also invites viewers to reconsider the role of costumers and hair and makeup artists as well. These artists often develop more intimate relationships with actors given the close physical proximity in which they work with one another. One makeup artist discussed the ways in which actresses sometimes share traumatic on-set experiences with her. The film is also an example of the truly collaborative nature of filmmaking as Warden and Darcy-Smith watch intimate scenes from previous films (including the sexual assault in Last Tango in Paris) so that the director can better understand the pitfalls and possibilities inherent in this aspect of filmmaking.
At the end of the day, filmmaking is storytelling, and storytelling is what makes us human. Physical intimacy is profoundly human. So long as we tell stories, physical intimacy will be part of many of those stories. The industry needs more Claire Wardens to ensure that the creation and execution of these scenes moving forward are as safe and responsible as possible.